Wednesday, 18 January 2012

The Difference Between Being Depressed and Depression


We all have low days, I call them my blah days. Days where we feel down and low, it could be because of the weather, we’re have a fat day or it’s just gone all wrong. I would take a lifetime of those days over one day of depression.

When my depression kicks in I don’t just want to stay in bed a little bit longer, I want to stay there all day. I alternate between wanting to sleep to wanting to cry constantly. I call my depression my darkness but that’s what happens to my world, it goes dark. A thick fog appears and it pushes me down and I can’t get out of it.

That feeling of dread you get when you think something bad is going to happens lays heavy at the pit of my stomach.  I get paranoid and have to stay away from the internet as everything negative I see written I think is aimed at me.

I want to be left alone to just be, I don’t want to talk, I don’t want a hug and no matter how much chocolate you throw at me it’s not going to cheer me up.

Its hard to explain to people that don’t have any mental health problems. You tell them you have depressions and often they ask me “what are you depressed about” in the ‘you have a nice home, a family and friends tone’.  They can’t understand why I would feel this way, it makes me want to shout “I’m not depressed I have depression!”

Some people still think that depression is trivial and not a genuine health condition. They're wrong. Depression is a real illness with real symptoms, and it's not a sign of weakness or something you can 'snap out of' by 'pulling yourself together'. NHS Website

Depression doesn't last a day it lasts a lifetime. 

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

20 comments:

  1. This is a brilliant description!!!

    I'm not putting down just a general feeling of depression, but it's very different from someone susceptible to the fugue that comes over you.

    I used to specialise in helping people with mental health issues and have had my own - one of the biggest differences is that I reckon I can help 'general depression' with a book or blog or hints and tips to pick Mums up. But depression depression is totally different, almost like it has a life of it's own - I can't think of a way to help without 1to1 assistance at the moment (but I'm wracking my brains and am going to keep looking over time).

    The other one that is very difficult to identify is manic depression - that's worse in a way because the sufferers are encouraged to become more and more high/positive as people don't understand the dangers of it, and then when they drop it's like a complete collapse or disappearing into a deep dark hole.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am very glad I'm not bipolar. I am good at the moment x

      Delete
  2. Thank you for putting into words how I feel when my own personal darkness descends. I wish it was easy for those without any experience of mental health to help/understand and hopefully your post will go some way to achieving that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Cari. I think the more we write about it and tell people about it the more they will understand.

      Delete
  3. Mental health (or lack of it!) is so poorly recognised and treated in our society. I hope and trust that you have better days ahead. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I am in a good place at the moment but it can hit at any time x

      Delete
  4. Well done putting your depression into words I still have to do that, I just can't the further I got was how I am feeling just now in this post http://www.susankmann.com/2012/01/january-blues.html but that's not depression it's just feeling down.

    I sympathise, empathise and feel for you. Having depression is hard. Hugs xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Lovely. I often get the January blahs x

      Delete
  5. Thank you for writing this. It is true being depressed is not the same thing. i am told the same things if i go on and confess that i suffer of depression. It is actually frustrating at times- the fact that you have to explain people. Now i choose to discuss the matter to my fellow mummy bloggers and on my blog. that is all. ah and my husband..
    thank you
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is hard, generally I find people really supportive and have opened up a lot more.

      Delete
  6. Thank you for this I have been depressed for the last 10 years off and on has been worse over xmas now back on prozac and stay in bed most of the time. Not ideal when you are self employed so not gone to signing on as cannot cope at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its so tough my thoughts go out to you x

      Delete
  7. I find myself staring longingly at train tracks. I just want to disappear away from the fear, the dred.

    I long to sleep it away

    And knowing I have a good life makes it worse. I could I feel so bad when I am so lucky.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Zoe, do you have someone you can talk to? I don't know your circumstances but you are not alone, many, many people feel (or have felt) the way you do. If you want to get in touch you can contact me through my blogger profile. Sending you hugs xx

      Delete
    2. Oh my lovely Zoe if you need to talk you know where I am x

      Delete
  8. Thanks for writing this, Carol. I was just saying to someone last week that I wish depression wasn't called depression. If this illness had a different name, it might be taken more seriously by those who doubt its severity. Cx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true, people don't believe its an illness.

      Delete
  9. Thank you for the reply to my annonymous blog post. It has been a tough 2 months not getting paid for two months work off two separate people. Before this I was already depressed anyway. It led me to not concentrate difficult to communicate but Im slowly getting back on track and now sleeping just the usual 8 hours a day instead of 12 plus.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't read many blogs these days but I felt I needed to read this when I saw it on twitter. A very accurate description of what depression can feel like. It's the one that gets me 'what you depressed about' it drives me nuts and mainly comes from those that don't understand! Well done for being so open and honest!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi there,
    after 33 years, i have to admit that i have something i carry with me all my life. I think i made myself believe that i will be a normal "happy" person when i will have a relationship. "the" relationship. Once it ended, it was far more worse than before. Because now i know that even that is not ok for me. There is something more to be resolved. Nowadays, i am in the middle of admitting; 'ok, it's me and i am the only one to cope with myself'. However, i have to hide it when i make fun with friends, dance, party or at work etc. It is going to be hard and it will always be with me, but i guess i have to play it like this.

    ReplyDelete